People act like we don’t already know how things work, i.e. polygamy, like it didn’t ALREADY happen for thousands of years and we don’t already know how that turned out. We KNOW what happens. 

Polygamy violates the marriage contract. Marriage equality does not. THAT is why the right wing is re-defining marriage. THEY are the ones re-defining marriage, NOT US. States had to RE-WRITE IT for them to MAKE it one man and one woman. States started amending their state constitutions to STOP us from getting married and the first one to do it was Alaska in 1998. At first both sides, Dems and GOP wanted it re-defined to specifically be between a man and a woman. Now it’s like 39 states (NC became 39th) who have redefined marriage, 11 won’t do marriage but allow civil unions and 3 states have no provisions about it. Most of the re-defining happened in the past ten years, even less. Conservatives went into overdrive when courts started saying there is nothing to LEGALLY prevent gay people from entering into the marriage contract; they LOST THEIR MINDS, spent TONS of money, got TONS of people to be outraged and THEY LEGALLY RE-DEFINED MARRIAGE. They started screaming about “RADICAL” justices because judges were saying that according to the law gay people could get married. People who were interpreting the law as it WAS WRITTEN were now “RADICAL” and out of control. Conservatives galvanized the masses with propaganda and they have effectively outlawed marriage equality for most of country. Why is it that no one ever mentions that THEY are the fuckers trying to LEGALLY re-define marriage, NOT US?!! Or that this is one of the many reasons the GOP/Tea Party want states’ rights, no one ever says it. WE are going by the LAW and they are in the process of OUTLAWING the shit, marriage has always been a two person contract THEY are the ones RACING to change it and make it between one man and one woman. They ARE going to lose, they’re just making it harder by amending state constitutions but the shit NEVER SAID ONE MAN, ONE WOMAN. EVER. Lesbians and gays just wanted it to be made available to us because it is a TWO PERSON contract designed to BE for two people.

Our rights and relationships shouldn’t be a pawn in some douche fight between the left and the right. Conservatives use STOPPING THE HOMOS as a major draw to separate American from American to keep their power. We don’t think even half of the GOP give a flying SHIT if homos get married but we do know they use banning marriage equality AS a platform to get people riled and outta the house into a voting booth. People can be made emotional and irrational over social issues with propaganda, they vote with their hearts not their heads and some people have hate filled black hearts. Politicians only care how it relates to their own electability. HATE will get ‘em up off the couch, so will electing the FIRST BIRACIAL MAN EVER. If you rile up the hate (of women, blacks, gays, middle/working class, working poor, etc) you’ll get the toothless conservatives off their couches to vote for the people who are gonna STOP THE HOMOS, whores and “takers”. You think those rednecks are going to get up and VOTE for anything that isn’t HATE motivated? Even Libs need to be rallied to vote AGAINST the other side. Everyone’s life is too stressful; they can’t be bothered unless there is a FIGHT. No matter how jacked up the country or economy is, they’ll always use a propagandized social issue to get people fired up, something to get the blood going. It used to be race but it’s not ok anymore to be outright racist so they started on homos and our LIFESTYLE. It’s VERY important for them to make it be a CHOICE because if it IS a choice we can’t expect to be treated like other minorities because they don’t choose to be a minority WE are just disgusting and it’s a choice to be disgusting (even though they ALL either fantasize about Lesbians or wanna be Lesbians) so it’s ok for people to judge and hate us because we are supposedly “choosing” to be a Lesbian instead of a good wife and mother. It’s ok to judge a LIFESTYLE. So they hire paid shills to talk about how GOP and Tea Party are not anti-gay or anti-woman, racist or classist, which is what the turn-coats are there for, to show everyone how grrreat the right wing is for us.  

Marriage equality hasn’t really been at the forefront for very long so none of this is discouraging.  Public opinion is shifting HUGE, most people DISAPPROVED HUGE just a few years ago, just a few MONTHS ago it was still more disapproved of than it is NOW. The polls are basically neck and neck so we’re moving forward, some polls are even saying for the first time 51% approve, we NEVER had ANY that said more people approved of gay marriage which just happened RIGHT BEFORE Obama came out in favor of it, by the way. It’s a HUGE JUMP to have close to half the country saying it’s ok, just being in the 40% range was crazy and amazing. It was always OVERWHELMING majority that disapproved of marriage equality. We need to move forward more and REALLY tip it. We need to get to the 60% and higher range. Just eeking over the line doesn’t mean we tipped it yet but we DID FINALLY eek over the line! FINALLY. First time EVER.

We DID make it over the line (even though we may back slide, really most polls are still neck and neck) because so many of us are OUT now. There’s NOTHING that has changed public opinion MORE than being OUT and straight allies. It’s WHY being out is so important. Out celebrities especially have power because they help neutralize the hate and make people realize we’re just people, good, bad and in between. We personally don’t have our faces plastered all over the internet even though we have a platform as large as many celebrities (lots of people online do) because we live as private citizens and we are not trying to be celebrities who can afford security whenever they need it, and let’s face it we’re women and we’re actually saying something, that is still a very dangerous thing to do in our society. But in our lives we are fully out everywhere. We’re femme and it’s REALLY annoying having to come out all the time but we always do. Regular people need a face to slap on “the homos”. They need a person in their head when they are deciding on our rights. They can not like gay people all they want but when it’s time to vote on shit they need to have a person in their head. “Do I really think so & so shouldn’t be allowed to get married?” If you function in straight society and are not in some niche world YOU make the difference. Being out and taking shit all the time is what has made the change, it’s part of why out celebrities are so important. Too many people still don’t know any gay people except maybe the one weird “dyke” or “fag” that no one likes. Closet cases do us more damage than anything or anyone (we’re not talking about very young people living at home dependent on parents or in places not safe to be out). Closeted celebrities are especially a problem because of the HORRIBLE example they set by being closeted or half-closeted confirming to EVERYONE that there IS something WRONG with being gay. We need to be visible and seen as regular people, they need to see the Lesbians down the block raising their kids. As a femme you have to come out non-stop and people are always confused by femme Lesbians but we have to be out, they need to know it’s the bitch down the hall at work or down the block in their neighborhood that they are voting against. 90% of people do not deal with a Lesbian in their space every day but once they DO, it changes their MINDS.

Marriage is very important not just to give gay people civil rights but to change how people view us. You’d be surprised how many people care about your Lesbian relationship and would be upset by your breaking up but the only way for that to happen is to be OUT. People get upset when straight people get divorced, they sympathize, feel empathy for them but they don’t treat our relationships like that out of the gate, it takes time and exposure for them to see it that way, as a cohesive unit. We’ve watched it happen, watched as people accepted our relationships and thought of “us” AS an us. For Lesbians in particular, our lives are very mysterious to straight people. It wasn’t just titillating or sexual anymore, we become people, a couple in their eyes, and that takes time and being OUT is the most important part. Being OUT means we exist. And it takes TONS of us being out to equal what celebrities do by being out.

Tags: anti-gay conservatives, being out, celebrities, closet-cases, marriage equality